This Week in Movie Posters, April 15
New Ari Aster AND Paul Thomas Anderson? We are so back! Plus, the hyper-specific thirst trap of the week.
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The Hyper-Specific Thirst Trap of the Week
This probably doesn’t seem like your traditional “thirst trap,” but I would argue that it still is one.
“POV: You found a 9 month celibate and sober rapper who is inspired by NF/Linkin Park/Kanye West.”
Just the phrasing alone. “You found” implies he’s hoping that someone is looking, doesn’t it? Plus the celibate thing? Anyway, I don’t know who I’m arguing with here, this definitely qualifies as a thirst trap. And hyper specific, without question. Turns out, I was pretty excited to find a 9-month-sober and celibate aspiring rapper inspired by NF, Linkin Park, and Kanye West. That’s a combination of things that I never before considered existing. What a wonderful world. Great job, algorithm.
Book Tidbit of the Week
I was reading (okay, listening to) Emily Nussbaum’s very enjoyable history of reality television, Cue the Sun! last week, and naturally there was a big section on The Apprentice, the show that essentially created the created the myth of Donald Trump.
“Walker remembered him referring to one woman as “the one with the big implants” and to Omarosa simply as ‘the Black chick.’”
Turns out he was like a clueless, inappropriate grandad even before he was borderline senile. Basically, Trump was so incompetent and unpredictable at a basic level that the producers of his reality show had to treat him like an exotic pet.
And now he has the power to rendition people and tank the economy on a whim! What an entertaining twist in the reality show that is Earth. There was some other stuff in there about Trump referring to Kwame from The Apprentice as the N-word and a “black (f-slur).” So any time you hear Mark Burnett’s name, just know that he had all of this information and sat on it for 20 years.
This Week In Movie Posters
Welcome to the This Week In Movie Posters, the feature in which we go through all the week’s new movie posters and read way too much into them. Blessed are the paid subscribers, as without them, none of this would be possible. All posters via IMPA.
Holy crap, did he kick all those buildings down??? How many times have I told you, Jason, cut it out with all the kicking! You are causing a dystopia!!!
Every time I see a poster with someone superimposed above a skyline like that, I imagine what it would look like to replace them with the screamin’ cowboy. I’m too lazy to actually do it, but now it’s in your head so I don’t need to. (I know AI can do it, but it’s not the same. I don’t care about a roboshop).
Here’s a new poster for The Accountant 2 starring Jon Bernthal and Ben Affleck. They really have them over the barrels on this one!
I was going to complain about them not lining up the names and the faces, but there’s another Accountant 2 poster further down where they actually are lined up. Ah, well.
My main criticism here is actually the lack of taglines. No tagline for The Accountant 2? A movie about an autistic accountant assassin? Do you know how much wordplay you’re leaving on the table here??
You sure would if you were an accountant!!! Down to the third decimal place!
Nothing about this can possibly live up to expectations, but I keep imagining a trailer where at the end, Jon Bernthal is pointing his gun towards the camera. “You’ll have to excuse my brother,” he says. (voice lowers to a growl) “…He’s autistic.” (*gun shot*) (*smash cut to credits*)
I kind of dig this poster for Hurry Up Tomorrow. It looks mad Bri’ish, innit? Funny that just a guy one the floor can be so obviously British coded.
Good use of negative space in the poster design, and then they drive it home with the tagline: “Reality lies deeper than you think.”
Oy, I guess oy’d nevah really fought about it dat way, ain’ oy bruv. Loife’s just so mental sometoimes, innit.
The weirdest thing about is that I never would’ve guess that was Barry Keoghan. I guess Barry Keoghan just doesn’t look so much like Barry Keoghan with his squinty little eyes shut. Open your eyes, Barry, let’s see that million dollar leer.
Good lord. What are they doing to Jon Bernthal’s hair here? That’s too bouncy. Too much volume. Too short around the ears. Isn’t Bernthal supposed to be playing the suave, cool-guy brother?
Now thanks to the hair, all I can do when I look at him is picture a speech bubble below his face with the famous Sopranos subtitle:
DUHHHH-lookin’ ass face.