This Week In Posters, April 26
New PTA, new Tim Robinson, new Wes Anderson, and a Kevin James action movie that doesn't understand how bullets work.
Welcome to The #Content Report, a newsletter by Vince Mancini. I’ve been writing about movies, culture, and food since the late aughts. Now I’m delivering it straight to you, with none of the autoplay videos, takeover ads, or chumboxes of the ad-ruined internet. Support my work and help me bring back the cool internet by subscribing, sharing, commenting, and keeping it real.
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Brief Plugs
I’ve been writing near-weekly pieces for GQ and haven’t been able to plug all of them here. Jason Momoa was one of my most fun interviews ever. He was exactly the way I expected, only more so. It didn’t make the final piece, but this was the transcript of when Momoa showed up:
Speaker 4 (24:56):
Take it outside. Hello. Hey, what's up, bro? Holy fuck, dude. Talking about the worst goddamn time. What's up GQ?Speaker 3 (25:08):
How you doing?Speaker 4 (25:11):
Just rapping. Fuckin Lobo. Moving out of a house, going to Japan, right? In season two and three. Fucking changing the world. What are you up to, bro?
Perfection.
Podcasts! We recorded a new Frotcast with Adam Johnson about Andrew Schulz and Pete Hegseth this week (it’s free!), and a new Mad Yourself A Man with Liz Franczak from True Anon. Sign up on Patreon for early Pod Yourself eps and bonus Frotcasts. It’s two podcasts for the price of one! And if you haven’t seen it yet, you absolutely must see this week’s clip of “The Twinnies.”
The #Content Report crossed 700 paid subscribers this week. I know the people who come here for Top Chef don’t always read the movie stuff/jokes/current events essays and vice versa, but I’m doing my best to hold this fragile coalition together. In any case, I can’t tell you how much it means to be to be able to write for you all nearly full-time and barely not starve in the process. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. Tell your friends.
The Hyper-Specific Thirst Trap of the Week
One could argue that this one isn’t so thirsty, but it is one of the worst accents I’ve ever heard:
Dutch, man. Such an unserious language. Though in fairness to the dike pluggers, this English one is arguably even worse:
Adam Sandler has to be trolling us at this point.
My compadre Matt Ufford already nailed Adam Sandler’s fashion sense 10 years ago with his famous post, “Adam Sandler Wears Golf Muumuu to Premiere of New Film 'Fart Vacation,’” but incredibly, this picture, posted by Sandler himself last week, does not appear to be photoshopped:
Holy hell. His clothes are somehow even bigger than the AI-generated Hypebeast Pope:
There must be three miniature Adam Sandlers standing on each others’ shoulders under that thing. I’m sure he’s in on the joke at this point, but he’s brilliant at it.
This Week In Movie Posters
Welcome to the This Week In Movie Posters, the feature in which we go through all the week’s new movie posters and read way too much into them. Blessed are the paid subscribers, as without them, none of this would be possible. All posters via IMPA.
Al Pacino?? They got Al Pacino and Dan Stevens for this?? Lower-budget demonic possession horror has really come a long way. I keep imagining him crazily overacting like in that scene from Heat. “She’s got a… GREAT ASS! And you’ve got the devil, ALL THE WAY UP IT!”
I don’t know if I’ll see The Ritual, but I feel like they probably shouldn’t have mounted the crucifixes upside down like that. They should fire that contractor.
Love Ben Foster. He’s one of those always-great character actors(?) who everyone that knows movies loves, but has maybe not quite gotten his due from the gen pop. Not sure about Cobie Smulders though. She’s just so… Canadian. I can’t quite put my finger on why, but Cobie Smulders is like 400% Canadian.
I’m not entirely against another Final Destination movie (the sixth, for those of you keeping track), but I’m still a little bitter at them for not calling the last one “5nal Destination.”
A metal rake?? What are these people, rich?
A rake made of metal? In this economy?
We always talk about the way non-diagetic sparks have become movie poster shorthand for “lots of action.” The sparks have a clear source in this one, but even so the poster designer couldn’t resist just putting them everywhere to amp up the excitement.
“Priyanka Chopra Jonas.” Are Priyanka Chopra and whichever Jonas brother she’s married to a real marriage? I’m sorry, I don’t believe it. I’ve never even seen them in the same room. I need to see them kiss.
I also enjoy that there were already two “Die Hard at the White House” movies released the same year (White House Down and Olympus Has Fallen), the latter of which spawned a sequel — London Has Fallen — that was “Die Hard at Downing Street,” and now someone has just combined the two concepts. Olympus Has London’d!
Great cast, but once again, I can’t trust Prime video originals when they can’t even include the small movie text at the bottom of their posters.
Also: sparks!