As Matt approached the Uproxx offices, he expected to feel vicarious anxiety. It had happened ever since Vince was forced out. He wished his route didn't take him past the building every day.
What he didn't expect was seeing Vince protesting outside the offices, holding a sign declaring "FUCK THESE CLOWNS! CHAD UPROXX: HORSE COCK"
Again beset by second hand anxiety, Matt would have slunk away entirely had Vince not spotted him.
"MATT!" he called, "come support the cause! You like my sign?"
Matt hesitated, obviously struggling. "What?" Vince probed.
"I... well, do you think maybe your sign... like... makes people think Chad Uproxx has a huge cock?"
Vince scoffed. "What? No. That's stupid. Only you think that."
At that moment Laremy strolled up, hot-dog in hand, and lifted his flip-up shades to read Vince's sign.
"So this Chad Uproxx has a horse cock, huh? Sounds like a guy to know!" He waved goodbye, jaunting along with his day.
Matt watched Vince's face turn a concerning shade of red before he wordlessly turned and stalked away. From the alley, Matt heard the sound of garbage being forcefully moved and Vince bellowing "god DAMMIT! LAREMY!"
tbh i never stopped pirating, and apparently will never stop. im not gonna fucking get a separate streaming thing everytime a movie migrates from hulu to peacock or shitdick or whatever. fuck all this shit. nationalize a digital movie library, let me pay for it with taxes, or im stealing it cos copyright is bullshit anyway. ok thank you. love your blog dude
As Matt approached the Uproxx offices, he expected to feel vicarious anxiety. It had happened ever since Vince was forced out. He wished his route didn't take him past the building every day.
What he didn't expect was seeing Vince protesting outside the offices, holding a sign declaring "FUCK THESE CLOWNS! CHAD UPROXX: HORSE COCK"
Again beset by second hand anxiety, Matt would have slunk away entirely had Vince not spotted him.
"MATT!" he called, "come support the cause! You like my sign?"
Matt hesitated, obviously struggling. "What?" Vince probed.
"I... well, do you think maybe your sign... like... makes people think Chad Uproxx has a huge cock?"
Vince scoffed. "What? No. That's stupid. Only you think that."
At that moment Laremy strolled up, hot-dog in hand, and lifted his flip-up shades to read Vince's sign.
"So this Chad Uproxx has a horse cock, huh? Sounds like a guy to know!" He waved goodbye, jaunting along with his day.
Matt watched Vince's face turn a concerning shade of red before he wordlessly turned and stalked away. From the alley, Matt heard the sound of garbage being forcefully moved and Vince bellowing "god DAMMIT! LAREMY!"
God bless you. You're half the reason I keep doing this.
"Sounds like a guy to know!' Is so Laremy. You really captured his voice.
Chart Westcott is the altrr-ego of Curbs Lurb
You can't tell me Hulu isn't owned by a pharma company. Every fucking commercial is for a drug.
Are you an interracial gay couple that resides exclusively on city rooftops? Pills!
Are you a white woman of a certain age with a fondness for medow wandering and brightly colored sweaters? Pills!
Are you a nerdy little girl that wears her dirty super hero costume too much? Hypoallergenic Tide!
Shit, that last one didn't work but you get the drift.
tbh i never stopped pirating, and apparently will never stop. im not gonna fucking get a separate streaming thing everytime a movie migrates from hulu to peacock or shitdick or whatever. fuck all this shit. nationalize a digital movie library, let me pay for it with taxes, or im stealing it cos copyright is bullshit anyway. ok thank you. love your blog dude