25 Comments

Darn it, The Machine is exclusively in theaters? Does anyone know how else I might be able to hear Bert Kreischer tell a story about being super drunk?

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I’m so excited to see movie poster round up back!

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An old warehouse buried in San Francisco had not had a visitor in many years. On one particular floor, the open floor plan was strewn with a smattering of desks, one enclosed office, and detritus that told the tale of what had once been.

Half finished stories lingered on desks, covered by a thick layer of dust. "Interview with Joe Hahn, Part 2," announced one headline with no story beneath it. A feature profile on Stephan Jenkins from Third Eye Blind. Carved into a desk were the words "Burnsy Rulez." This had once been a newsroom, of sorts.

The door creaked open, and a man with a blank look in his eyes wandered in. He adjusted his groin absent-mindedly while wandering around, picking up pieces of paper with no rhyme or reason.

Finally, he made his way to the only office and sat down heavily in the old office chair. He coughed in the dust that had been stirred and looked at the wall, to the old photo of Matt Ufford, grinning and giving a thumbs up.

He heard Ufford's voice in his head. "You did it once. You can do it again." Vince nodded. Time to get to work.

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Art!

Bob, where the hell have you been?

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Like Christ, I have returned when the world needed me.

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Well well well look who it is...

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Very glad to see this feature return. That said, the Mitch Hedberg joke about standing in front of a fire exit would clearly make a better movie. Good to see Mark Hamil getting work, though.

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I'm thrilled that Vince got fired so we could get this segment back!

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Looks like posters are back on the menu, boys!

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You need proof that Mark Decascos is an actor? Look no further. https://imgur.com/a/VN4dr5j

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Well well well... Look at all these FilmDrunk nerds. The Mancini Heads.

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I think my favorite poster here is the Sean Bean one because of the insane ratio of his boredom to the amount of lightning behind him creating the most gobsmacking dissonance.

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Shailene Woodley in "Do Robots Smell Like Homemade Organic Soap?"

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What the hell is 4DX?

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It's like Xfinity 10G

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I think the new iron chef was the final bad guy in John Wick 3.

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'Everyone Hungers for Something' has got to be the most bland tagline for a bland prequel to a bland series based on bland books. "This movie has........something that ya might like!?!"

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I accidentally read it as "Everyone Hungers OR Something" first and I thought it was strangely noncommittal for a tagline, but did seem to match the energy that went into creating the poster.

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Good luck with the report, Vince

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Last Sentinel definitely has 00s movie poster vibes.

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I love the poster round up but I'm seriously starting to wonder if the diabetes epidemic in this country is reaching critical mass. I mean what other widespread ailment known for cognitive decline could explain such a vast collection of truly stupid movies? Looking forward to watching them.

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Please do yourself a favour and go watch "Drive". Not the Refn joint, but the 1997 Steve Wang joint, starring Kadeem Hardison, John-Pyper Ferguson, Brittany *goddamned* Murphy, and one Mark Dacascos. It is...well. I can't rightly say it's "good" but it's fun, and I certainly love it, lol.

Mark Dacascos is very good at martial arts, anyway. He's good at acting like he's beating the hell outta people.

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lol I just discovered that John-Pyper Ferguson was *also* in Refn's "Drive". Huh.

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