42 Comments

This is probably off topic, but the Menendez Brothers show that has an entire episode where the camera never moves? Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck offfff. I fast-forwarded that one, got through like 10 minutes of the next episode and then I was like "okay I think we're done here."

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"Are you sure about this?"  Vince asked his older cousin Alex.  He stared in trepidation at the bungie cord tied to his penis.  The other end was hooked into a 20 pound dumbbell, teetering on the edge of the eaves of his uncle's barn.  It hadn't even seemed like a good idea when Alex had suggested it, but Vince wanted to seem cool.

"Of course."  Alex responded.  "You want to make it feel big?  Make it long!"

The memory of these events emanated from some dark recess of Vince's mind, and he reflexively reached for his groin.  

"Sir?"  The barista asked, increasingly insistent.  "Sir?"  

"Oh.  Sorry.  I'll have a long flat white.  Tall!  I mean tall.  Tall flat white."

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This comment is giving me PTSD flashbacks of my punishing foreskin reclamation journey. I wish I'd known at the time that I could achieve similar results with a miniature pulley system, elastic bands, thinly sliced ham and superglue.

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"To state possibly the obvious here, yes, I am a tired toddler dad, and thus I tend to have to squeeze my adult-television viewing into the relatively miniscule window"

People without kids don't want to watch horseshit either. I came of age during the rap mixtape revolution where we got so sick of horrible filler "No yelling, no bullshit" became a selling point.

Please do docu series next. I've seen so damn many that left me thinking- this could have been an email, Linda.

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Oh, I thought docu-series bloat was so established as not to be even worth mentioning at this point. It's gotten so bad.

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You're right. I've probably missed so many meaningful docs about fake underage dwarf, exotic pet owning, wife murderers because of their length.

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I more or less stopped watching docuseries after getting deeply, deeply burned by The Vow.

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I am a childless cat lady (so hot right now) and I balk at long episode run times. I am very excited about the Mad Men podcast! Also, I think I’m one of the five people who enjoyed the Eternals. I haven’t rewatched it so maybe that would change but it was pretty and the actors had charisma.

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I liked it in the sense of it being exciting to watch the up until then mostly boringly competent Marvel formula completely fall apart. But yeah, even in that nothing role I still enjoyed Barry Keoghan. DRUIG!

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Yes! I think about Druig often, and his weird mind-controlled utopia. Some days I’d like to have a Druig take over my mind. It could have been something great, but like WandaVision, got dragged down by the big finale punch em up.

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Agree with everything laid out (father of 3 who regularly falls asleep at the 40 minute mark of any show). I just wanted to mention that I thought episode 6 of 'Bad Monkey' was some of the worst (best) TV I've seen in a while. That manatee scene reminded me of the Bin Laden episode in the Newsroom it was so cringey. Thx for listening!

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It's not a 'prestige' show but Nobody Wants This just zips along with most episodes being under 30 minutes I think. Which I appreciate for a breezy romcom of a show.

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My favorite short show of all time is Catastrophe.

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Meow

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I like everyone involved. Worth a watch?

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Sure, everyone is excellent in it. And again, episodes are quick so if you don't like one, it's over in 25 minutes or so.

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Thanks, Johnny. I'll check it out.

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Very much agree that a show has to 'earn it' when it comes to episodes over an hour. If you're an established show with a dedicated fanbase you can be a little self-indulgent with run times. If you're Rings of Power (which I couldn't even get through the first season of) you can fuck right off with a 72 minute run time for a mid season 2 episode.

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I watched the first episode, and at the end she jumped out of the boat in the middle of the ocean and I was like "wait, is she just going to swim back to middle earth?"

I don't know if they ever addressed that because it was boring and I never watched episode 2

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The legitimate critiques of RoP is longer than the appendices from the Lord of the Rings trilogy the show is based on.

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60 minutes is perfectly fine for a show and 2+ hours is fine for a film. What's not fine is streaming services throwing a ton of cash at bloated content that is ultimately unsatisfying (I'm looking at you Rings of Power, Rebel Moon).

But having a series with 6-8 episodes at 45 minutes each and then nothing for two years is equally obnoxious.

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Oh Vincenzo, I have so many thoughts:

1. Collin Farrell was obviously destined to be an amazing character actor but he’s so handsome Hollywood tried to force him to be a leading man.

2. Cristin Milioti is an assassin who is the pizza of actresses: even when she’s in something bad she’s good.

3. The streaming bloat is one of the few things I DON’T blame totally on executives. I think that it’s a combination of executives and creatives. The most consistent ratings metric I’ve seen for streaming is minutes watched. Well, if you have more minutes to watch it’s easy to juice those numbers! And what creative isn’t going to take more time if it’s offered to them?

4. Ted Lasso’s drop-off came when Bill Lawrence left.

5. It becomes really fraught, especially with a show like Yellowstone because it turns into this culture war discussion that makes me want to light myself on fire, so I’ll use Snowfall instead because I think it makes a similar point.

Succession got way more attention than Snowfall because the subject matter, setting, and :ahem: composition of the cast was more relatable to reviewers and writers. Because so many in that circle watched it, it got reviewed while a show that likely drew as many eyeballs and social media attention (Snowfall) was almost completely ignored by those same reviewers.

Succession was a better show than Snowfall, but I was more emotionally affected by the Snowfall finale (which is an all-time finale).

6. That time creep has hit movies as well. After the Dark Knight it feels like every action movie is 2.5 hours. The A-Team did not need to be 150 minutes!

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Succession is a gimme in terms of cultural conversation: it was about the media! Of course people in media are going to watch it.

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Also, I say this as a fan of Snowfall, but it binges way better than it works episodically.

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I started it and was mostly into it but it just felt like there was so much to catch up on.

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It’s over now and there is. The first season is also a little slow but it works better streaming because they (spoiler) don’t start cooking crack until like the 7th episode and then it takes off

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I always found it interesting that Snowfall didn't get more prestige media coverage. Other than the obvious race factor, the only thing I can point to is maybe it was a little less grounded than other crime-related prestige dramas in some of the later seasons.

I did appreciate how much of an absolute monster they let Teddy's character become by the end of the show. As a rouge CIA agent spreading crack cocaine through the inner-city he really didn't deserve a redemption arc or the anti-hero treatment. The guy was just an evil bastard and they let him be an evil bastard until the end.

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Yeah, critics hate shows featuring non white personalities. 😒

Snowfall ruled. I cast blame upon FX for the lack of coverage.

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Snowfall's still on my to-watch list, but I feel this way about P-Valley, my favorite show on TV right now - a Southern noir/soap set in a Black strip club in Mississippi, incredibly shot and acted, tons of sex and nudity, and no one's watching it because it's on fucking Starz.

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You had me at sex and nudity.

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Alan Sepinwall did a review of most of the first season and I think it was a show that would have gotten more attention if it had been on Netflix. It binges much better than it aired episodically. Especially the first season.

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Yeah if there's one thing I keep hearing from culture critics and media organizations, it's "More whites, please."

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I think it's kind of complicated, because yes, your average critics org or editor absolutely wants to highlight and praise shows from non-white performers/creators, but they also have the same blind spots and built-in biases towards the things familiar to them as everyone else (not to mention the profit motive, where it's always more lucrative to talk about popular things for clicks), so there's kind a simultaneous overpraise/overlook thing going on.

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Someone tweeted a few years ago that "everyone's turning in their first drafts," and then the writer's strike revealed that streaming production schedules are so tight that... well, everyone's turning in their first drafts. I think that explains a lot about The Way Things Are Now.

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Probably my most consistent film criticism is: "15 minutes too long."

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No one should be watching or talking about Rings of Power, because it's fucking awful!

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My husband is watching this. I can't even comment on the length of the episodes because I can't get past the makeup: I disagree that it is good. I mean, it's there, and remarkably conceals any trace of Colin Farrell. But it's so lugubrious and obviously fake.

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It's necessary in the sense that it... uh... makes him look like a penguin? And thus is the entire basis for him being the Penguin in a show called The Penguin? From an artistic standpoint, yeah, probably would've preferred Colin Farrell just looking like Colin Farrell.

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I didn't even hint that I thought it was unnecessary. Or that I thought Colin Farrell should look like Colin Farrell. I simply said it was heavy and fake-looking.

Edited to add: No it doesn't make him look like "a penguin." A guy in an alternate universe being known as "the Penguin," ok.

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If i were Colin Farrel id make them even release bloopers of me in that crazy makeup for ROI. Anyway, im a fan of The Bear’s variable model where they had their one-take episode be barely 20 min but adjust the rest of them according to the story (at least its first two seasons). It works because The Bear is not a real sitcom and doesnt need to be a high and tight 20 min for each episode nor is each one super tense

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Hulu's Only Murders in the Building is, I think, about 45 minutes per episode, and that's not a comedy. Seems like a good length to me. On the other end, the Star Wars series on Disney+ routinely passed an hour, I think, and unless the episode is flawless it'll feel like a slog at that length!

Would like to know more about the snipers at the Eternals premiere, though. Who were they gonna shoot at?

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This was one of the first big premieres after Covid so there were all sorts of various cranks out there. It was a wild scene.

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