This Week In Movie Posters
Plus, who is the Berries & Cream lad at SNL50, and the hyper-specific thirst traps of the week.
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Who is the Berries & Cream Lad at SNL50?
Anyone else watch the SNL50 thing? I avoided it, and then I watched it, but I didn’t get through the entire thing. All that hype and being such an established institution feels sort of at odds with comedy, doesn’t it? It makes the comedy harder, anyway. Comedy is easier when it’s throwing turds at things that are “important,” not being important.
I had to fast-forward through some of the sketches (that wedding one, yikes) but eventually there was some funny stuff. The Andy Samberg song (notably not live). Bill Murray’s weekend update segment. Julia Louis-Dreyfuss’s bit with the dog and Adam Driver (if a sketch isn’t working, try adding Adam Driver and a dog, I always say). Part of me thinks three or four sketches that bomb to one that hits is how it’s always been, and we just forget because we only remember the good sketches. Another part of me thinks that bad ratio is just the consequence of a live show? And maybe that’s an unforced error? How about a 30-minute sketch show that’s not live? I’m trying to remember the last time I heard someone younger than me talk about SNL.
ANYWAY, I didn’t mean for this to be a review, I simply wanted to draw your attention to my favorite part, the Berries n Cream Lad sitting in the audience behind Nate Bargatze:
They showed him a few times, and I am intrigued. Who is he? Is he famous? What is he looking at? Why does he look like a Country Bear Jambaroo-style animatronic? The fact that they had this guy in the audience and kept cutting back to him without ever introducing him or explaining it is ten times funnier than the Beavis sketch. He should just be there in every crowd shot, staring vacantly.
Netflix made a movie with Tom Hardy and The Raid director Gareth Evans
HAVOC. Looks cool. I’ve written about how bored I’ve gotten with modern action movies, but I’m hoping this is the outlier. That’s a lot to hope for coming from a Netflix movie, but hey, they did release Rebel Ridge and the first Extraction. (Yes, I know they also made a second Extraction. We don’t talk about the second Extraction. I’m sorry, I just don’t love tracking shots enough for that one).
Hyper-Specific Thirst Trap of the Week
I don’t know if this one is hyper-specific, or just confusing.
A lot going on here. Even if I accept the “step-sibling” thing and the ridiculous anime face filter, what even is this? Ptespip? I tried to explain the “four holes” meme in the last one of these. It’s a confounding element that trolls people into commenting, which in turn boosts the post thanks to the algorithm weighting baffled comments as “engagement.” I guess this is a version of that too. Somehow it feels even worse than “four holes.” I guess she figured that if people are into step-sibling porn, maybe illiterate step-sibling porn is a fresh new angle? I could see it.
Here’s a dude one:
If you like big fellas and gratuitous penis print shots, this account is for you. But I was intrigued by “nobody daughter cheating on me.” I have to imagine that this is the first time “nobody daughter cheating on me” has ever appeared in text. That is a totally original phrase. This man is reinventing verse. It’s crazy that god graced him not only with a huge hog but the soul of a poet.
This Week In Movie Posters
Welcome to the This Week In Movie Posters, the feature in which we go through all the week’s new movie posters and read way too much into them. Blessed are the paid subscribers, as without them, none of this would be possible. All posters via IMPA.
Oh hell yeah, a John Leguizamo movie. When I am in charge of Hollywood (any day now), we will release a John Leguizamo movie every three months. That being said I don’t know who his unlikely friend is here, and their whole interaction seems a little too straitlaced. I need Johnny Legs to chew some scenery. Why isn’t there more buggin’? There should be more obvious signs of buggery. They should just release a feature-film adaptation of House of Buggin’. (John Leguizamo and Luis Guzman? God we were so spoiled).
This poster for The Actor doesn’t give us more than the title plus Andre Holland in a Neon movie, but luckily I don’t need much more than that to be intrigued. Who is Duke Johnson? Turns out he’s the director of Anomalisa. Shut up and take my money.
“Question everything.”
Here’s a question, who still wears pajamas with buttons on them? That feels like the weirdest clothing trend. How do we make some super comfortable clothes designed to sleep in? I know, put some buttons on there. Don’t worry, they’re also huge. Stupid! Pajama designers, I’m sick of your shit!
Catherine Frot??! Apparently that’s a real person, and she has the most French IMDB photo of all time.
Catherine Frot, come on the Frotcast. (New episode just dropped, btw).
Damn, that is a hell of a cast. He gets some grief for being a bit of a cornball, but this feels like exactly the kind of film Ron Howard would crush.
Hmmm, set in 1934… poster in German… little round eyeglasses… I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that Daniel Brühl is playing a Nazi. Playing Nazis is to Daniel Brühl what playing cops is to Michael Peña.
Nicole Kidman has to star in a movie every 45 days or else she’ll die.
The movie is called Holland, that’s why she’s holding a tulip. See? I’m smart. I get stuff.
A woman's picture-perfect life in quaint Holland, Michigan crumbles, when she and a friend uncover a twisted secret in their midst.
Directed by Mimi Cave, who last did Fresh. I don’t think anyone saw that, but I liked it.
Una pelicula de JOHNNY DEPP! Ay dios mio! I’m guessing you’re mostly going to be seeing Johnny Depp’s name in posters that aren’t in English for the forseeable future. I’m not sure he even speaks English himself anymore. (Don’t know why Substack won’t let me embed that video, but).
Ooh, another one in Spanish. I don’t know if Novocaine will be any good, but they’ve been crushing with their posters. I think this one works even better en español. Como se siente su dolor? Leve, severo, o extremo? O, dios forbido, DOBLE VE TE EFE!!! That’s demasiado dolor!
(Sidenote: does “WTF” even stand for in Spanish? Shouldn’t it be, like, CEC or something? Como el chinga, mang.)