17 Comments

From Maíz to Mars

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Nailed it. I honestly sat there for like 10 minutes trying to think of a space-related pun for "sin maíz no hay país" and couldn't do it. Sin maíz no hay spa-ís? No, that's not it...

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Looks like someone forgot about "Excess Baggage" (1997) starring Benicio del Toro and Alicia Silverstone. Can't explain the Timberlake though.

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Excess Baggage, which got a 20-year head start on Lady Bird by using Crash Into Me. And Christopher Walken is in it! It's OK!

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The cast includes Eric Bogosian, Frances Fisher & the lovely Michael Pitt so it might be fun. But "New England town" is such a non-descriptive "descriptor"--so I'm going for really rural northern Maine so there are lots of snowed-in isolated farmhouses and the possibility of an escape to Canada! Less glam than, say. Greenwich, CT and no tricky Boston-area accents to deal with.

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Before I scrolled down I was 100% convinced that the CASSANDRO poster was for an Eddie Izzard biopic.

Also, the last seconds of that MAESTRO trailer: "I'm thinking of a number... TWO! Like us!!" Now that's screenwriting.

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Suzie Eddie Izzard presents: Grappling With My Identity, performed in a comically oversized wrestling ring.

But if you watch the trailer, it's more like "what if THE PLACE BEYOND THE PINES-era Ryan Gosling had landed a part on Netflix's GLOW?"

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I assume the trailer for St. Vierja Academy has a slowed down version of "Hot for teacher". I'm not looking it up.

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I legitimately thought The Creator and Rebel Moon were the same film and I couldn't remember the title correctly.

Guinness record for swimming the longest distance with her hands tied? Sure why not. Guess speedwalking the longest distance with a butt plug wasn't available.

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I didn’t know they were different until The Creator trailer came out. Then I still got confused till everyone started yelling about Snyder again.

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HAHAHA, never heard anyone call John Cena's head looking like an Easter Island head, *chef's kiss*

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In a world where random, forgotten theatrical releases from a decade ago hit number one on Netflix, it cracks me up that Amazon has to put "New Movie" at the bottom of all their posters. Does anyone outside of people like us care?

Also, Freelance has kinda sorta the same premise as No Escape, that Owen Wilson/Pierce Brosnan thriller from 2015... which is currently streaming on Netflix.

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"Anatomy of a Fall" is French but the poster evokes a sad Scandi 8-part series. Per IMDb: Husband dead. Wife suspected! Partially sighted son is only witness. Moral dilemmas ensue. Anyone know its release date?

"Bibi" movie poster is grim--the carousel made me think "Mary Poppins and Stephen King Become Strangers on a Train."

"Freelance" poster looks like Bullock-Tatum in "The Lost City" poster. (A pretty fun movie also with Brad Pitt and Daniel Radcliffe.)

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Since only paying customers can comment on the Cassandro review itself, just letting you know here that El Hijo del Santo hosting a talk show with his silver mask on and having Cassandro as a guest 100% happened in real life, but the part about the kid telling Cassandro he inspired him to come out seems like bullshit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OPEwJGBkGBs

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Oops, I did that setting wrong, everyone was supposed to be a allowed to comment. It's fixed now, but thanks for this either way!

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Dogman looks like an Animorphs cover gone awry.

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The laziness of the Haunting in Venice poster might work in their favor accidentally, with some guy with a mustache in peeping perv lighting suggesting he’s actually haunting the hot young couple next door

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