18 Comments

I was not interested in Gran Turismo at all until I found out Neill Blomkamp directed it.

Because...that could make it weird, right? Just a little?

Expand full comment

The trailer, which I've seen before every movie since the 4th of July, makes it look like meat-and-potatoes August fun, which puts it above everything he's made since District 9.

Expand full comment

Hey, Elysium was at least an interesting bad movie. That scene where the grenade blows up in Sharlto Copley's face was awesome.

Expand full comment

The data heist is one of my favourite action scenes.

Expand full comment

Around Christmas time my wife handed me a letter saying she had given some money to Nandor Fodor and the Talking Mongoose and now my name will be listed in the credits as a producer of sorts. As a gift I'd rank it slightly above having a star named after me and slightly below a $5 lottery scratcher. *Shrugs* Good to see it got made.

Expand full comment

I know last week I said I don't watch movies much anymore but I will make an exception for THE OFFICIAL SELECTION OF OHMYBALLS®️

Expand full comment

"You don't like camp, Vince."

"What? That's ridiculous. I got my first handjob at camp!" Vince responded, then, more quietly added "it was a bad time."

Brendan sighed. He knew the handjob story already and was in no hurry to hear it again.

"No, like things that are campy. You have no tolerance for them. That's why you've always hated murder mysteries. Remember in 10th grade you wrote that book report where you called Hercule Poirot an unbelievable, affected Walloon fuckface?"

Expand full comment

Can't read Red, White, and Royal Blue without hearing Jim Carrey scream THE COLOR OF THE PEN THAT I HOLD IN MY HAND

Expand full comment

I was curious enough to look up "Dogman" on Wikipedia. This is the entire summary of the film listed on that site: "Set in New Jersey, it depicts a man who was abused by his father and loves dogs." Very helpful, Wikipedia!

Expand full comment

Well, from that alone I'm not out.

Expand full comment

"I guess we’ll get to learn how he became a great chocolatier.

I’m guessing it’s about who you know. "

That is beautiful editing.

Thank you!

Expand full comment

The movies poster appears to be a dying art... The only interesting artist is James Jean (Shape of Water is probably his most famous one).

Expand full comment

My Big Fat Uncanny Valley Wedding 3

Expand full comment

Did the director of Inside Man specifically ask for his head to look photoshopped, or is he just like that?

I refuse to look this up.

Expand full comment

Wow! So much crap coming my way, but:

1) Royal men traditionally wear a signet ring on the RIGHT hand.

2) "...Venice" has Jamie Dornan & Michelle Yeoh and the face I thought looked like Tina Fey IS Tina Fey!

3) The A in "A-Town" stands for "Ass-wipe."

.4) "Dreamin'..." Thanks but I already saw "Walk the Line."

5) "The Hill"--cute baseball player on the car. His "tuck" is because he is visiting Uncle Denis from Marseilles and is the phenom pitcher AND catcher who can save the HS team's dismal season. Then his friend Emily from Paris comes to visit & hilarity ensues.

6) "DogMan" is from Luc Besson so who knows what the f*** to expect. But I'll see it.

Expand full comment

The Haunted Mansion poster looks like any number of new-ish power metal bands trying to come up with something other than cosplaying dwarves (Windrose) or faux-Scottish laser unicorns (Angus McSix).

Expand full comment

So the Donnie & Joe thing is something I'm actually kinda familiar with - vanity/private press music. Two brothers had their dad bankroll a recording set-up and they made an album that was never really distributed and "discovered" in the 2000's by a record collector dork who then made it popular (and making the original album pressing super expensive) in certain circles. Kind of like the male equivalent of the Shaggs. Surprised a film was made about this.

Expand full comment

Vince those aren't cats in the Marvels poster they are flurbingos or some shit. PAY ATTENTION MAN.

Expand full comment