20 Comments

"You know, I never would’ve bet on the Trolls movie getting a sequel, but this is why I’m not a movie executive."

Vince, this is the second sequel!

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For The Kill Room, I assume the characters left to right are Art Dealer, Hitman, Baker, to line up with their names and images. And at first glance Jackson's costume looks like an apron or chef's coat of some kind.

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I think we’ll realize from the kill room is that there is an art dealer, hitman, and a baker in all of us.

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Re: The Persian Version, the last time I did something with vibrant aplomb I wound up in the ER needing a proctologist.

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What is Halloween coming up or something?

I enjoy that Neil DeGrasse Tyson's legacy is ruining things. He does answer the never asked question of what do you get when you cross a scientist with a theater kid.

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"And then if you just refold those sides so that they stick out and fold in the center, now it’s a movie two beautiful strong women looking for love and fulfillment in the big city."

A movie called SHEME TE where Peter Dinklage looks exactly like Marisa Tomei. Al Jaffee is rolling in his fresh grave.

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I met Joe Manganiello in 2015 when I was in the best shape of my life. He is the only person who by sheer presence made me feel bad about myself. Just impossibly handsome.

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I don't know if Vince coined it, but I still think about his description of people so attractive they feel like they were painted with a finer brush.

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Ahem. The plural for Octopus in not octopi. It is octopuses. It would be correct if it was actually Latin, but it's a Latinized version of the Greek work "Oktopus" (Pushes up glasses and awaits the well deserved wedgie for being a grammar nerd).

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I'll divert a few wedgies from you by pointing out that, by Greek rules, the correct version is "octopodes" (like "Antipodes").

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Spoken like a fan of octopi porn.

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Hentai for the win!

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The next step after the coached pull quote is the standee in the lobby with an entire glowing review, usually from the NY Times, printed on it. Do critics get extra for those?

I saw Roma at an arthouse that closed four months later. We had to run and tell someone in the lobby that the screen curtains hadn't opened all the way after the trailers. The seats were bricks and the popcorn was stale. Still glad I saw it in theaters, kinda?

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Zach K. and I are on the same page: I think Uma is the art dealer, Joey Mags is the hitman, and Samuel L. Jackson is the baker.

Now, the important question is which poster has the correct facial hair for Samuel L. Jackson? Because if it’s the bushy goatee I’m gonna need him wearing a hairnet for it just for comedy.

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"see how far the popular conception of 1987 has diverged from the actual 1987"

This made me remember from years ago on the FilmDrunk site when the commenters had a running list of what happened in Alternate 1984 and it was one of the funniest list I've ever seen. I had a copy of it saved for years but alas it is long gone.

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The second I saw that poster with the lined up names, I knew that Vince was going to be prying his laptop out of the ceiling.

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I looked up the original reviews for "The Persian Version" (aka "My Big Fat Farsi Wedding"?). Surprisingly, they seem pretty legitimate, though the Hollywood Reporter one only uses the word "effervescent" in the headline (so it's doubtful the reviewer wrote it). The full quote: "Occasionally, Keshavarz lets the comedy get a little too broad — for example in the final scene, where practically everyone in the movie gets crowded into a hospital room at once — but even then the film’s infectious, fizzy energy is hard to resist."

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"It’s shaped like an arrow and it’s even pointing the same direction! I always love a subtle boner motif but mostly I’m just hoping for more octopi playing drums."

How do you know which way his dong is pointing?!

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"All the other posters made it look like a star-studded murder mystery toplined by Kenneth Branagh’s elaborate moustache, whereas this one is just blatantly pretending it’s a horror film."

Hey, can't it be both? In fact, Branaugh's moustache, on the loose after committing follicular felonies...

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I’m picturing Joe Manganiello having to squat down to be the same height as his co-stars in that poster, if they had to actually photograph the three together

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