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Schnitzel bob's avatar

"And the winner for most handsome and best smelling film critic is... Vince Mancini!"

Vince looked around, uncertain how he'd got here but surrounded by smiles, well wishes, and jealousy. He stood as strangers clapped him on the shoulders and shook his hand. When he looked uncertain an usher gently directed him to the stage.

He strode up and approached the announcer, who he now realized was Warren Beatty. This caused him to slow down, and the lights seemed to dim. As he continued to approach, time seemed to go in slow-motion while Beatty reached below his own neck, peeling off a mask to reveal Matt Lieb in blackface.

"KEEP MAH WAIFFFFFE'S NAME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!" Matt shouted, rearing back for a monumental slap.

Before he could, Laremy emerged from Matt's chest, leaned to the mic and whispered "the real winner was actually Raspberry Beret from that San Francisco paper. Syke!"

Vince started awake, shouting. His wife rolled over sleepily. "That same dream again?"

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Freddy Dans's avatar

Hello, I randomly thought of 'Crispus Buttocks' and then googled it, and I found your twitter. I figured you would be a sex worker but you were not. Anyway, I thought the husband in Past Lives could have gotten a nom

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