20 Comments

Vince, as exhausting as kids are, if you're a tired dad people don't expect you to be cool or have new interests. It's very liberating to blithely be able to tell people I'm not going to watch a show they recommended.

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Mother's Instinct seems like it was crafted in a lab for gay men on Twitter (me).

Amy Winehouse's dad is a producer on that one, so...yikes.

Look up the writer of Orion and the Dark for a fun surprise!

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As a non gay man, if The Gays are orchestrating reasons for Anne Hathaway to look like a 50s milf, I want to personally thank them for bringing me something I didn't even realize I wanted.

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Great. Thanks. Now I have to watch a children's movie. And on top of that, do it while suppressing existential angst.

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Wait, Aaron Johnson met Sam Taylor in 2009 when he was 18 and she was 42? Then they got engaged that same year and married in 2012 when they combined names? Did I memory-hole this? I’m happy to forget just so I can learn this over and over.

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Yes sir. It was kiiiiind of a deal at the time, but I'm fascinated by the thought experiment of what the reaction would've been like if it had happened in like 2018 or something.

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Where can I place bets on this? It will happen again.

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Regarding the "Mother's Instinct" poster, if you squint hard it almost looks like Jack Frost the evil snowman is waiting outside Anne Hathaway's window. I'd watch that crossover.

Also, the dude with the topknot in the Sex Positive poster is giving off some real Mathew Lillard vibes, specifically the Matthew Lillard character in Hackers.

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God, his pigtails in that. Oof.

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Color me unconvinced, but it looks more like that girl likes to eat sprinkles/jimmies off cupcakes. The monster!

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Why does she look like Nic Cage in a wig?

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I thought it was that Olivia Rodrigo album cover.

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'Damn, I didn’t think “upside down shark” was going to be such an effective visual device. It’s like an eyeless Joker smile. I was so transfixed it took me a second to notice the whole airplane down there.'

I was so transfixed I thought that airplane was another upside-down shark.

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1. Orion and the Dark looks like the last 3 or 4 kids films. I honestly would not be able to differentiate this. Edit, I now have Billy Squire "in the dark" stuck in my head.

2. Amy Winehouse - yuck.

3. No Way Up - yes please. Also, does anyone old enough remember that early 80s tv movie about the Titanic-esque cruise ship where the passengers survived for years underwater?

4. The Beekeeper - No way the movie is better than this poster.

5. The Promised Land - super serious despite the 360 degree lighting on everyone.

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Go listen to "The Stroke" instead and picture you're Billy Madison, good times.

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Re: #3 Holy crap, I had completely forgotten about that flick. Saw it on TV as a young'un and it kinda blew my mind. Haven't seen it in 30+ years but gotta find it now. Oh, and BTW, it's called "Goliath Awaits."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goliath_Awaits

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Oh man. Yes. Thank you! Surprised MST3k or Rifftrax hasn't tackled this.

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Are you saying an 80s miniseries with John Carradine and Christopher Lee might not be all that good?

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It's good in a very specific kind of way. I've been on an 80s sword/fantasy/barbarian film kick lately. Maybe a good time to transition to an Irwin Allen inspired disaster film run.

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Of course, I rushed right to Letterboxd to see if this Goliath movie was streaming anywhere... but it's not. I want it to be.

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