I love everything you've ever written, but you are wrong about Beetlejuice and it will be perfect and I will come back here and gloat when you admit it.
Netflix's description of "Under Paris": "In order to save Paris from an international bloodbath, a grieving scientist is forced to face her tragic past when a giant shark appears in the Seine."
The best comment I saw on social media this week was someone on Bluesky who noted that it should have been called "Shark de Triomphe." I mean, it's obviously campy, why not go all the way? "Under Paris" is boringly generic and just makes me think of the catacombs, which are nowhere near as scary as a giant shark in the Seine.
Those people are supposed to be swimming in the Seine?? Jesus. Calling it fresh water is a stretch, they should look like the guy who got toxic wasted in Robocop.
Vince, I assume that considering your age your being annoyed by Celine Dion is a result of her music triggering the traumatic memory of Josie Cogler cutting you off when you tried to get to third base during titanic at the Bakersfield AMC 27
- I saw Celine on the last tour she did before COVID, and yeah, it's weird aunts, wine moms, and people like me (thirtysomething homosexuals) all the way down. Did you know one of her favorite songs is You're The Voice, aka the song from the riot scene in Hot Rod? And she sings it at every show, with a call and response? I sure didn't until it was happening - one of the most wonderful/ridiculous things I've ever experienced at a concert.
- *SCOTT STAPP VOICE* A Sacrifice! Why didn't Eric Bana ever catch on?
- Sing Sing has one of those YOU CRY NOW trailers, and goddamn if it didn't work. But I'd follow Colman Domingo into war, so my ticket was already bought.
- No one needs to watch The Danish Girl in 2024, but man, did Alicia Vikander deserve that Oscar just for making that grey bore even halfway watchable.
- The trailer for Trigger Warning passed through my Twitter feed - another Taken/Rambo clone. Anthony Michael Hall (?!) is the villain. Tone Bell, who I only know from other things on Netflix (that Drink Masters show was good!), is her friend. Eh. I didn't think Jessica Alba was good even when she was the hot new thing.
- I LOVED the Harold and the Purple Crayon books as a kid, so if I still cared about childhood things being turned into IP slop, I'd be furious.
Prompted by the Firebrand poster, is there anything more brutal than when one actor gets listed as “academy award winner” and the other is implicitly roasted as “nominee”?
I had like 4 or 5 jokes lined up about Celine looking like a younger Kidman vampire and Eddie Murphy raiding my closet but alas, you poisoned me with your Bana shit. Oi, cunt, Tig Notaro and Roos!
Tig leads the league in people I love who would fucking hate me.
I have never understood the adulation people in my demo have for Tig Notaro. Her standup was dry and boring to me (and certainly not funny). In her appearances on Comedy Bang Bang and other podcasts I used to listen to she always brought the energy way down and would grind some good bits to a complete halt.
Am I missing something? I'd love to be proven wrong as she seems like a good person (who has dealt with some real hardships), but I've never been able to enjoy anything she has produced.
The Glen Powell posters are annoying as fuck. Definite no thank you vibes. Might as well have Paul Dano. Or Dana Plato for that matter. This is cursed.
Morton Salt here. I still hate Paul Dano. He looks like he only exists to inform me of trigger warnings and which indigenous peoples’ lands I am currently standing on. Still, I liked his Riddler, much to my chagrin.
The "Ghost Planet" poster looks like the cover to your cousin's self-published book. Book one of a 12-part series, of course. Even the tagline screams "we made this by ourselves."
I (justifiably) misread "Am I OK?" as Amiok and thought it was asking the same question as me.
It looks like the cover art for a rushed video game from a major developer. The overly airbrushed back of the main character, the cheaply cut & paste people in the fog...
Celine Dion is Jimmy Buffet for Disney adults, discuss
I lived in Vegas for a decade and saw her show too many times, it was electric every time. I'm sorry but it was amazing production.
I love everything you've ever written, but you are wrong about Beetlejuice and it will be perfect and I will come back here and gloat when you admit it.
I want Alex to be right and will abandon her immediately when the movie sucks.
I'm just here for long time Vince fans telling him he's an idiot.
I want this to be true.
Netflix's description of "Under Paris": "In order to save Paris from an international bloodbath, a grieving scientist is forced to face her tragic past when a giant shark appears in the Seine."
The best comment I saw on social media this week was someone on Bluesky who noted that it should have been called "Shark de Triomphe." I mean, it's obviously campy, why not go all the way? "Under Paris" is boringly generic and just makes me think of the catacombs, which are nowhere near as scary as a giant shark in the Seine.
I'm just wondering how they explain a great white swimming 400 miles up a fresh water river?
Those people are supposed to be swimming in the Seine?? Jesus. Calling it fresh water is a stretch, they should look like the guy who got toxic wasted in Robocop.
Science..y
I'll refer you to Thank You For Smoking-
2 lines of dialog, thank God we invented the..."Fresh water shark ladder ".
Vince, I assume that considering your age your being annoyed by Celine Dion is a result of her music triggering the traumatic memory of Josie Cogler cutting you off when you tried to get to third base during titanic at the Bakersfield AMC 27
You think I would ever be in Bakersfield long enough to see a movie there? How dare you.
I couldn’t remember what the nearest town to you was and guessed wrong 😂
Do you know how much diesel it costs to run the dually down to Bakersfield?
I saw Titanic in theater 3 times and had 2.5 amazing results afterwards. Damn you, April!
Hey a nice relaxing .5 is nothing to shake a stick at.
- I saw Celine on the last tour she did before COVID, and yeah, it's weird aunts, wine moms, and people like me (thirtysomething homosexuals) all the way down. Did you know one of her favorite songs is You're The Voice, aka the song from the riot scene in Hot Rod? And she sings it at every show, with a call and response? I sure didn't until it was happening - one of the most wonderful/ridiculous things I've ever experienced at a concert.
- *SCOTT STAPP VOICE* A Sacrifice! Why didn't Eric Bana ever catch on?
- Sing Sing has one of those YOU CRY NOW trailers, and goddamn if it didn't work. But I'd follow Colman Domingo into war, so my ticket was already bought.
- No one needs to watch The Danish Girl in 2024, but man, did Alicia Vikander deserve that Oscar just for making that grey bore even halfway watchable.
- The trailer for Trigger Warning passed through my Twitter feed - another Taken/Rambo clone. Anthony Michael Hall (?!) is the villain. Tone Bell, who I only know from other things on Netflix (that Drink Masters show was good!), is her friend. Eh. I didn't think Jessica Alba was good even when she was the hot new thing.
- I LOVED the Harold and the Purple Crayon books as a kid, so if I still cared about childhood things being turned into IP slop, I'd be furious.
Second on Jessica Alba always having been bad.
No one has given her more chances than I. There's just something about her talent* that makes you root for her.
*So damn hawt.
"I'd follow Colman Domingo into war"
Fabulous homosexual confirmed.
Prompted by the Firebrand poster, is there anything more brutal than when one actor gets listed as “academy award winner” and the other is implicitly roasted as “nominee”?
Michael Keaton looks like Christopher Lloyd in that poster and I do not like that one bit.
Also it's the lighting looking like it's all over the place in the Ghost Planet poster that's the main thing making it look all cheap, right?
I had like 4 or 5 jokes lined up about Celine looking like a younger Kidman vampire and Eddie Murphy raiding my closet but alas, you poisoned me with your Bana shit. Oi, cunt, Tig Notaro and Roos!
Tig leads the league in people I love who would fucking hate me.
*Unpopular Opinion Alert*
I have never understood the adulation people in my demo have for Tig Notaro. Her standup was dry and boring to me (and certainly not funny). In her appearances on Comedy Bang Bang and other podcasts I used to listen to she always brought the energy way down and would grind some good bits to a complete halt.
Am I missing something? I'd love to be proven wrong as she seems like a good person (who has dealt with some real hardships), but I've never been able to enjoy anything she has produced.
I think I was supposed to think that web series where she didn't know famous people was charming.
I do like her Taylor Dayne bit.
Seconded
The Glen Powell posters are annoying as fuck. Definite no thank you vibes. Might as well have Paul Dano. Or Dana Plato for that matter. This is cursed.
The only thing I really know about Paul Dano is that Mort Salt fucking *hated* him.
Morton Salt here. I still hate Paul Dano. He looks like he only exists to inform me of trigger warnings and which indigenous peoples’ lands I am currently standing on. Still, I liked his Riddler, much to my chagrin.
A closed-eyed beheadbutting if you will.
"Stop ghostlighting me!" the daughter will probably say.
The "Ghost Planet" poster looks like the cover to your cousin's self-published book. Book one of a 12-part series, of course. Even the tagline screams "we made this by ourselves."
I (justifiably) misread "Am I OK?" as Amiok and thought it was asking the same question as me.
It looks like the cover art for a rushed video game from a major developer. The overly airbrushed back of the main character, the cheaply cut & paste people in the fog...
"Ghost Planet" was on Kickstarter and raised $8434, so I'm not surprised the poster looks cheap.
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/530407494/ghost-planet/
So I nailed it. High fives to me!
Why does the poster for TRIGGER WARNING feature a knife?