movie reviews

Ranking 2025's Best Picture Nominees

It is my sworn duty to prepare you for the Oscars.

Feb 19 •

'Captain America: Brave New World' Continues the MCU's March to Irrelevancy

Oops all understudies, and the MCU's Obama-era hangover.

Feb 13 •

The Results of the Marshawn Lynch Movie Experiment Are In!

Here's to hoping 'Love Hurts' normalizes Marshawn as an actor and kills most of the other things it does.

Feb 7 •

The Best Movies of 2024

Better late than never, right?

Feb 6 •

You Should Absolutely See 'Nickel Boys' Before It Leaves Theaters

Usually I can tell whether I'm going to enjoy a movie in the first ten minutes. 'Nickel Boys' took much longer than that but wrecked me in the end.

Feb 2 •

Mark Wahlberg Wants to Rape and/or Kill You

Mel Gibson's latest, 'Flight Risk,' starring Marky Mark, is dumb, weird, and fun.

Jan 29 •

'The Brutalist' is a Majestic, Confounding Epic

"It feels like they spent more time on the intermission graphic than on wrapping up a three-and-a-half-hour movie."

Jan 26 •

Dawn of the Biopic of the Apes

Who the hell is Robbie Williams? In 'Better Man,' he's a chimp, obviously.

Jan 21 •

Leigh Whannell's 'Wolf Man' is a Nasty Little Punk Song of Body Horror

Puking fingers, puking blood / GO TO WOODS AND KILL YOUR DAD! GO TO WOODS AND KILL YOUR DAD!

Jan 17 •

'Den Of Thieves 2: Pantera' is a Dudes Rock Classic

The sequel to 'Den of Thieves,' or as I like to call it, 'The Heist to Italy' is a low-stakes action movie that's mostly about the joy of hanging out.

Jan 12 •

The Times They Aren't A-Changin'

'A Complete Unknown' presupposes the existence of a biopic extended universe, with Bob Dylan, Johnny Cash, Elvis, and all of your faves.

Jan 7 •

'Nosferatu' is the Very Specific Dracula Dads Crave

Tim Burton is the goth director for theater kids, Robert Eggers is the goth director for history majors.

Dec 23, 2024 •

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